Resources For Parents

NEW JERSEY SPECIFIC 👇

Do this FIRST in Crisis:

Jordan's Relay has been told that in-home care is the best place to start. I mistakingly thought that the Children's System of Care (PerformCare) in NJ was only for low-income families, but after Jordan's death learned a mobile response and stabilization service is available to ALL families and would have been the best first step. Taking Jordan to the hospital (as suggested by her doctor) was traumatic, humiliating and ineffective for our family and I've heard similar stories from others. I wish I'd had this information so I'd like to share it with you - Call 877-652-7624 (https://www.performcarenj.org/)

If your child is 18 years or older, Perform Care can't assist. RUBH suggests that you call *988 Suicide Prevention line together with your child on speakerphone.

They can assist you with getting connected with a Behavioral Health Center (insist on one that is connected to a hospital and not private is suggested)

Borrow my Behavioral Health Toolkit:

Back in 2019 The Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide was given grants to create a Behavioral Health Toolkit that provides parents the resources they need in a time of mental health crisis. Learning that this toolkit existed, but I was unaware of it at the time of crisis for my family, was such a hard pill to swallow. As I learned more about the processes this particular organization uses to release information, I realized that the toolkit was being held under "lock and key" waiting for grant after grant to "distribute it". Instead of giving the information away freely after it's creation was complete, the organization solicits additional grants for limited distribution and charges pediatricians and health care providers for copies that aren't covered by "distribution grants." If you aren't lucky enough to get a copy through a grant, you're welcome to borrow mine! The organization also said I can share this link with those in my school community, so here you go: Visit sptstoolkit.org and use the code "MonmouthCounty" to access

Ask a therapist about your child for free:

Parentguidance.org has a button at the top to ask a confidential question to a licensed therapist about your child. Once you click on the top header, go down a little on the left and you'll see the form to submit your question.

The site also offers coaching, on-demand courses and other great resources for understanding your child's mental wellbeing and what to do when you see a change in your child.

PTAs & Parents: I think your school NEEDS this:

For over twelve years, Provo City School District, the tenth largest in Utah, grappled with a silent tragedy: the district experienced one to two youth suicides annually. This somber reality included the heartbreaking loss of a fourth grader who died by suicide on school grounds. 

At first, the community implemented QPR training to adults and the numbers reduced, but youth suicides persisted. A pivotal moment in the approach to suicide prevention occurred after the suicide of a student who had given a watch to his best friend and said his “family would be better off without him.” Though the student exhibited warning signs of suicide to multiple peers, no one had told an adult. They realized the potential of harnessing peer support in suicide prevention.

We have a similar story with Jordan and her little sister as well as her college friends that drives this home for me.

Following a successful first year at Timpview, Hope Squads expanded to every school in the district, changing the approach to suicide prevention to empower peers as part of the process. The result: Zero suicides in the Provo City School District for nine years after implementation.

What if this is the answer? I know the harm in not trying....

We are gathering more information on ways to bring this to schools and communities for little or no cost, but at the moment we anticipate that PTAs will have to fund the program or the Hope Squad will assist you with getting funding.

We strive to eliminate the cost barrier in suicide prevention, so if cost is an issue please email us at [email protected] and we will do all we can to help!

We also feel this program would be extremely valuable on college campuses and can enter through various clubs and organizations. Parents of college-age children can still bring this to those high-risk age groups and empower our young adults!

ALL RESOURCES 👇

Suicide Prevention Links:

I personally believe that a PDF document with a list of links for various websites and contact information for every organization on the internet is NOT a quality resource. I find these lists to be overwhelming. They're often in alphabetical order so you just start at the top and that place is full because everyone starts there and by the 3rd or 4th call you've been redirected five times and you're ready to scream. But if you're looking for something specific, that list might be more helpful.

The below link is to a Padlet, which is consistently updated with new resources for Parents & Educators. It's still a bit overwhelming, but we're here to share all we have and we think this is a quality list. There is some nationwide & NJ specific resources. It's complied by the Traumatic Loss Coalition and AFSP NJ. The great thing about this link is that it's dynamic so new resources are added as they become available. Hopefully this gives you a single source of resources to start with instead of having to go down a Google rabbit hole or sort through a static PDF that is just about as helpful as the yellow pages, in my opinion. :)

And This:

The Good Behavior Game is a classroom management strategy that promotes positive behavior and has shown positive long-term impacts for students.

The game is not a curriculum and does not compete with instructional time. In the beginning of the school year the Good Behavior Game is intended to be played three times a week for approximately 10 minutes at time. At the end of the school year, a teacher may play the game daily for up to 30 or 40 minutes.

AIR followed students from schools that implemented the Good Behavior Game for over 20 years and through the research proved that students in schools with the game showed less aggression and disruptive behavior in elementary school, a delay in first age of smoking and lower use of mental health resources in middle school, and lower use of mental health resources or use of tobacco/alcohol or other drug use in young adulthood.

988 - Call or Text

The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States. Use the #BeThe1To 5 action steps to help someone in your life that might be in crisis. These steps have been proven to help others find hope and support.

Parent Guidance.org

50% of parents worry their child is struggling, but don’t know what to do. 32% of parents feel their child is unhappy. An estimated 10-20% of adolescents globally experience mental health conditions. Our library of courses, developed by leading mental health experts, offer hope, answers, and compassionate help.

Warrior Families

Mental Health Support Network

Their mission is to support families during their behavioral, emotional and mental health challenges.

This button is temperamental so the website is:

https://warriorfamilies.org/

A handbook written by TEENS

At Robbie’s Hope it is our mission to empower a generation of teens to let each other know it’s ok, to not be ok. Help us inspire more young people to have HOPE (Hold on Pain Ends) in an effort to fight this horrible epidemic.

Help us cut teen suicide rates in half by 2028.

Calming Me Coping Strategies

A teacher-created kid's coloring book with 75 easy ways to calm emotions complete with parent resources from Trenna Stout of Wings To Learning Advocacy LLC

The Bark Phone

A kid’s phone that doesn’t look like a kid’s phone. This isn’t a clunky “kid’s phone,” which can embarrass teens and tweens. It’s a state-of-the-art Samsung that has robust parental controls. Here at Bark, we’ve witnessed that 43.09% of tweens and 74.61% of teens were involved in a self-harm/suicidal situation in 2021 — a sobering and heartbreaking statistic. We send alerts to parents and guardians notifying them of this concerning issue.

A campus that banned smartphones made its students happier. Why?

Because the phones are like any other addictive substance, says Anna Lembke, author of "Dopamine Nation"

Morgan's Message

Morgan’s Message® is structured around an Ambassador system. We started the organization by establishing chapters with volunteer student-athlete Ambassadors on high school and collegiate campuses. Read more and join the cause!

Katie's Save

Please read Katie’s Save and join the initiative by spreading awareness in support of implementing necessary changes nationwide, as well as speaking to Nationwide University Administrators to promote student safety and well-being.

Book List

After Jordan's death I went down a rabbit hole of audibles and books to try to figure out what I missed or what I could have done better to understand my daughter's mental health. There were so many great ones that, again, I wish I'd known about earlier. We've also had so many great ones sent to us. Check out the list:

Yale University's most popular class is now free for teenagers

In this course you will engage in a series of challenges designed to increase your own happiness and build more productive habits. As preparation for these tasks, Professor Laurie Santos reveals misconceptions about happiness, annoying features of the mind that lead us to think the way we do, and the research that can help us change.

If you'd like to share a resource, please send it to us here and we'll run it by the experts we consult with. Once vetted, we'll add it here.

Resources For Parents

The Bark Phone

A kid’s phone that doesn’t look like a kid’s phone. This isn’t a clunky “kid’s phone,” which can embarrass teens and tweens. It’s a state-of-the-art Samsung that has robust parental controls. Here at Bark, we’ve witnessed that 43.09% of tweens and 74.61% of teens were involved in a self-harm/suicidal situation in 2021 — a sobering and heartbreaking statistic. We send alerts to parents and guardians notifying them of this concerning issue.

A campus that banned smartphones made its students happier. Why?

Because the phones are like any other addictive substance, says Anna Lembke, author of "Dopamine Nation"

Morgan's Message

Morgan’s Message® is structured around an Ambassador system. We started the organization by establishing chapters with volunteer student-athlete Ambassadors on high school and collegiate campuses. Read more and join the cause!

Katie's Save

Please read Katie’s Save and join the initiative by spreading awareness in support of implementing necessary changes nationwide, as well as speaking to Nationwide University Administrators to promote student safety and well-being.

The Whole Brain Child

Complete with clear explanations, age-appropriate strategies for dealing with day-to-day struggles, and illustrations that will help you explain these concepts to your child, The Whole-Brain Child shows you how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development so that your children can lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives.

Yale University's most popular class is now free for teenagers

In this course you will engage in a series of challenges designed to increase your own happiness and build more productive habits. As preparation for these tasks, Professor Laurie Santos reveals misconceptions about happiness, annoying features of the mind that lead us to think the way we do, and the research that can help us change.

In-Patient Crisis Centers

When looking for a crisis center, this is what we've been told to look for:

1) Will the person be seen by a psychiatrist and a licensed professional?

2) Try to find a place backed by a hospital and NOT for PROFITS!

(⬆️ This is where I went wrong with my choice for Jordan in my opinion so I wish someone had said this to me)

In-Patient Crisis Centers we recommend based on personal referral

(we will grow this list as others are brought to our attention and vetted)

Marlene Brandt Behavioral Health Center (coming late 2024 to New Jersey) and the home of the Jordan Haller Music Therapy Program

McClean Center (outside Boston)

Silver HIll (New Canaan CT)

Jordan Lynne Day Haller

ALLENTOWN Jordan Lynne Day Haller, age 20, of Allentown NJ, earned her angel wings on Thursday, December 8, 2022. Jordan was truly a light in this world.

Pick up the baton by joining our list!

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